I thought of suicide.. then about my girls.

Ellie-May

RUSSELL Watson leant over the balcony of his 20th floor Los Angeles hotel room and decided to hurl himself 300ft to his death. The world-famous tenor, who has performed in front of royalty, the Pope and President Bush, had just been told he had a brain tumour which could prove fatal - plunging to the pavement below seemed a quicker way to go. Then the faces of his daughters Rebecca, 12, and six-year-old Hannah, flashed before his eyes and his suicidal thoughts vanished.

Talking exclusively to the Mirror, in his first interview since his health scare five months ago, Russell, 40, says: "It was the day I'd had my diagnosis, which seemed to exacerbate the physical pain I was suffering.

"There I was, a single guy hundreds of miles from home, trying to deal with the news on my own because I hadn't told a soul.

"I went on to the balcony to look at the LA skyline to cheer myself up. But I could barely see anything and felt so frustrated.

"I'd always had a feeling that I wouldn't live to see my 40th birthday, and there I was on the verge of turning 40 and at the lowest ebb of my life. I stood there, my head banging, and thought, 'I've had enough, I'll end it all now by chucking myself off'. Then I thought of my girls and told myself, 'Come on, son. Turn away and let's get back to work'."

Salford-born Russell started experiencing severe pains 18 months ago.

"I was getting excruciating headaches and my left eye swelled so much it looked like I'd gone a couple of rounds with Mike Tyson," he says. "The pain on the bridge of my left nostril felt like someone had stuck a knife in it."

Two specialists in the UK diagnosed extreme migraines caused by stress, but the painkillers they prescribed did nothing to ease the symptoms. Then last summer, on a flight to LA to record his new album, That's Life, the pain became unbearable.

"It felt as if there was a brick in my head," recalls Russell. "The sight in my left eye deteriorated until it seemed like I was looking through a telescope."

The next day he saw a specialist at LA's Cedars-Sinai hospital. A simple eye test proved something was very wrong.

Russell says: "I had to peer into a machine and click a mouse when I saw a light. I said, 'When's this test starting, mate?' The doctor said, 'Five minutes ago'.

Later he said I had a brain tumour that was pressing against my optic nerve. I was shell-shocked."

He kept the news to himself for four days while waiting to hear whether the large tumour was malignant or not.

"I was due to start recording and knew if I told anyone they'd send me home," explains Russell, a former factory worker who has amassed a £15million fortune since his performance of Nessun Dorma at Old Trafford in 1999 landed him a record deal.

"We had an incredible line-up at Capitol Studios - Frank Sinatra's brass section and saxophonist. I thought, 'This could be the last thing I do. I'll probably sell more records if I die. It'd be a nice legacy for my girls'."

Although the tumour (a pituitary adenoma) proved benign, the surgery to remove it might leave him blind or even kill him. Telling his dad Tim, mum Nola and sister Hayley was tough enough. But explaining to his daughters was harrowing.

"I got them in a group hug and said, 'Daddy's got to go to hospital because I've got a lump in my head'," says Russell, who split from their mother Helen in 2001 after eight years of marriage. "Rebecca understood and kept saying, 'Are you going to be OK?' Hannah was hilarious - she wanted to know, 'What lump? What colour is it?'

"As soon as they left I was in bits. I ran to the bathroom and cried for 20 minutes."

LAST September, Russell left his £1million home in Hale, Cheshire, for St George's Hospital in South London.

He says: "A man began reading a disclaimer to me. I said, 'It's OK, I'll just sign it'. But he had to read it all for legal reasons, so I had a last-minute reminder about how I could be left blind - if I didn't die. I don't ever want that bloke to read me a bedtime story again."

Fortunately, the three-hour operation was a success. "The tumour left a big hole in my head, which had to be filled with cotton wool," says Russell. "I looked like an alien. But I was just grateful to be alive."

His celebrity well-wishers included Gary Barlow, Alexander O'Neal and actress Sian Reeves, with whom he won BBC1's duets competition Just The Two Of Us last year.

Although Russell got the all-clear a fort night ago, he is still suffering the emotional and physical side-effects of major surgery.

He says: "My pituitary gland was damaged during the operation, so my hormones have been all over the place. Some days I feel euphoric, but the next day I feel as if it's the end of the world.

"But I've got 'northern grit'. So on days when I can't get out of bed, I tell myself, 'Russ, get off your a***'.

"Socialising has been tough. I didn't leave my house for two months and I lost that showbiz shine when you can be really outgoing when you feel like s***. But once I started singing the enjoyment flooded back."

Although he is back on tour later this month to promote the new album, Russell feels like a changed man.

"A big health scare reminds you not to take anyone or anything for granted," he says. "My children's image of me as the bloke who could fix everything has gone. Now they're my little protectors. We were clowning around recently when Hannah bumped my head. She was saying, 'I'm so sorry, Daddy', and trying to rub it better.

"Being close to death has taught me that life is a great gift - maybe I didn't appreciate that fully until I nearly lost it.

"The important things in life are not my voice and selling records, but my children's love and friendships. I'm incredibly grateful that I'm still here."

Source: Daily Mirror
Julie Mccaffrey
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Russell Watson introduced me to Classical Music - thx mate. Cool

Ellie-May · Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:31 pm Post subject:

I was in tears reading this article today. Very, very sad. Crying or Very sad

Thank god Russell has been giving the ALL CLEAR. Very Happy

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Russell Watson introduced me to Classical Music - thx mate. Cool

Ellie-May · Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:33 pm Post subject:

Oops sorry Tracey I have just spotted the article in the news section. Embarassed

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Russell Watson introduced me to Classical Music - thx mate. Cool

xcept · Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:35 pm Post subject:

It is a very upsetting story Ellie thanks for posting it in the forum I'm sure others will want to comment..... it is also listed in our news section

http://www.classicalx.com/article772.html

classicgrace · Joined: Feb 06, 2006 Posts: 13 Location: New York, USA

Wow. I didn't realize things were quite that serious!! Shocked

Praise God that Russell made it through. May he continue to bless him and give him the strength to go on.

joycebaron · Joined: Sep 29, 2006 Posts: 11

This article was so heart-breaking. I am so thankful to God for pulling Russell through this horrendous experience. I can't imagine being alone thousands of miles from home and hearing a diagnosis like this. Thanks Russell for doing this interview - we are always here for you - I am sure you know that. I hope our positive thoughts and prayers did help in your recovery. Family, friends and fans - that is what it is all about. Take care. We all love you. I wish you a successful tour and I am looking forward to seeing you in March and April. Very Happy